‘Conditions apply’ style of parenting

This article is for parents who are not able to handle increasing demands of children. Parents have to be clear about which demands are reasonable and which are unreasonable as per the age group and not as per monetary conditions. This further leads to explaining the child about ‘want’ versus ‘need’. Make a list of the things which fall under each of these categories. You can agree to the things which they need. But for the things they wish to have, use ‘conditions apply’ strategy.
For example:
Child: I want XYZ toy car because my friend has the same.
Parent: Sure, I will be happy to buy it for you but since it’s not your need but your wish, I want you to earn a part of the amount.
Child: How?
Parents can break this ‘how’ into 2 parts.
1. How can I earn at this age?
– assign small work as per age group, for a week and give the child token amount as some earning. The child will realize the importance of money and will understand owning even a small work everyday is not an easy task. The child will learn to respect those who do such mundane tasks everyday, for years. In this one week, the child might also realize that there is no need to have this car and the demand might go off.
2. How will it make a difference?
– Here child is in a listening mode. You can explain joy of earning something. You can give examples of how people around them earn things by offering various services to us. How we are living a comfortable life due to such people. How are they contributing to the family needs by doing such work. Examples of boys distributing news papers, milk etc. will help.

Putting such conditions since very early age will make them realize a clear difference between want and need and everytime when they come to you they will start offering conditions themselves. This will be their first step towards becoming a good human being in future.
Anita Kahate

2 thoughts on “‘Conditions apply’ style of parenting”

  1. The suggestion is absolutely right. Children must realise the difference between needs and wants. Assigning petty jobs will definitely make them understand their parents better and the bond between parents and child will surely be strong. There will be a transparent relations too. The values can be inculcated in this manner.A very well written article Anita. Expecting some more eye opening articles.

    Liked by 1 person

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