Let’s try to apply five fingers principle for parents haivng kids over the age of five.
Starting with the thumb:
For age group 5 onwards thumb indicates a thumb rule to always remember and remind yourself that the child is an independent person. Parents are supporters, facilitators, guide but not the owners. Once this is clear, we don’t drive or control their life. Parents should do everything to take them towards being independent in all aspects. Let them take ownership of their deeds, actions, words, decisions etc. These FIVE principle might help:
– only 5 instructions per day, if you have more, then park them for the next day.
– minimum 5 hugs per day.
– minimum 5 appreciations in a day.
– minimum 5 thank you from you to the child for whatever small help offered. If you feel you are not getting a chance to say thank you then that means you are not giving the child any opportunity to help. This will backfire. If children don’t get to do anything at home at an early age, they won’t do it later.
– maximun 5 sorry from you in a day. This means you are not allowed to do some act, regret later and try to patch up by saying sorry. Don’t make it a habit to commit mistakes in front of the kids and expect them to forgive you by simply saying a sorry. It may come back to you in the same manner later.
Minimum 5 decisions taken by them in a day independently. These can be as simple as, ‘am I hungry? should I eat now?’. ‘which T-shirt should I wear?’ ‘should I call a friend to my home or should I go to his?’ ‘which homework should I finish first?’ ‘which colour do I like?’ The list can go on, but the important thing to remember is you can disucss pros and cons for each decision but you are not allowed to take decisions on their behalf. Small decisions taken at the early age help them in understanding consequences of each decision taken. Every small step taken towards making them independent refletcs in building their personality.
To be continued…